Dope and Dating: Why Mary Jane Makes a Great Third Wheel


Woman holding ice cream on a date

There is no doubt about it – dating is awkward. The long, uncomfortable silences. The jokes that fall flat. The profile picture that is about twenty-five years old. It’s enough to make the average person wish for an arranged marriage: just buy my parents a goat and we’ll call it good.
This is a fact of life no matter what, but that doesn’t mean this awkwardness can’t be roped in and tamed. One way to do this is by turning your twosome into a threesome. That’s right: invite Mary Jane along for the ride.

There are different reasons why Mary Jane makes a good wing-woman. And these include:

Reefer Relaxes

Cannabis relaxes you – the cannabinoids inside the plant help to release dopamine (which makes us happy and calms our nerves). But weed also has a way of reducing our inhibitions, allowing us to feel like we can take off the mask and be ourselves. This ups our enjoyment level.

You can also find the above through a glass of wine or a bottle of beer. But, unlike booze, cannabis won’t give you a terrible hangover that leaves you swearing to never ever drink again (or at least until tomorrow). That’s not to say pot is side-effect free, but it’s not known for giving you a splitting headache or upsetting your stomach. Both cannabis and alcohol can leave you with the “I drank a bucket of sand” feeling. Alcohol does this by acting as a diuretic while cannabis (particularly certain strains) can cause terrible cotton mouth. Ask the waiter to bring extra water.

Weed Makes Us Witty

Imagine yourself as a standup comedian, standing behind the microphone under the spotlight of a hot stage. Now imagine your ideal crowd. If you know marijuana, chances are your crowd includes people smoking up. Why? Because high people laugh at everything! Jokes, observations, the way Abe Lincoln’s head looks on the penny – it’s all hilarious. And it’s all useful on a date.

Humor is one of the things that bond people; we like those who can make us laugh and laugh with us. Humor also releases endorphins, the feel-good chemicals that give us satisfaction. Exercise releases these too but going on a date with lots of humor is much more exciting than hitting the gym.

Pot Challenges Our Values

You don’t need to have everything in common with the person you’re dating. They’re a Patriot fan; you root for the Broncos. They’re a little bit country; you’re more rock-n-roll. They love Game of Thrones; you’ve never seen an episode. But you do need to have something in common.

Often, the little things (preferences in music and television shows) don’t matter, but values do. Marijuana is a good way to test these values and see if you have commonalities or conflicts. If you smoke pot and your date doesn’t but doesn’t mind if you do, that’s one thing. If you smoke pot and your date threatens to call the DEA, that’s quite another. Pot “weeds” out the people who may be a little too close-minded for you.

Cannabis Makes Dinner More Enjoyable

When most people think of a romantic date, they think of pairing their meal with wine. It’s perfectly fine to be part of the “You had me at Merlot” crowd, but cannabis also has a seat at dinner too. Smoking weed enhances our appetite by playing on our sense of smell. Cannabis lands on a group of nerves carrying signals to the olfactory bulb (the “smell center” of the brain). This makes us feel hungry, even if we actually aren’t. It also makes food more enjoyable – your mom’s pot roast that’s always dry? Try some weed beforehand!

But – be warned about date etiquette – eating everything on the menu isn’t great for your health. It doesn’t up the odds of any future get togethers, either. Buying someone roses is romantic; eating them from the table’s centerpiece is not. You also don’t want to drive up the bill if you’re not the one paying.

Pot Enhances Romance

Not all strains of pot can enhance your romantic life; in fact, some will do the opposite and leave you passed out on the couch. But buying the right strains can make romance more enjoyable. Consider Sky Walker, for instance. This strain is indica-dominant (side bar: some indica-dominant strains may be overwhelming and induce tiredness; take a test drive before committing). But it contains enough sativa to keep you playful. The result is a high that is relaxed but energized. It can be great for the ol’ light saber.

Yes, marijuana makes a great third wheel, but this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take some precautions. Before you run out to the local dispensary, take a look at the following tips:

  • If you’ve never smoked marijuana before, a first date is not the time to do it. Make sure you know how it’ll effect you before you use it around a romantic prospect (or in public). The same goes for other types of consumption – a date isn’t the first time to dab, for example.
  • Don’t smoke so much that you get paranoid – you don’t need your mind telling you that your date is out to steal your right kidney. That’s your favorite one!
  • Don’t smoke out in the open. Even if you live in a legal state, you can’t use marijuana in the middle of a crowded restaurant. Discreetly eating an edible when the waiter turns his back? That’s a different story.

Will taking pot along on a first date lead to a happily ever after? That’s anyone’s guess (though, if it does, go ahead and give us the credit). Dates can always go either way but adding some weed into the mix ups the odds of having a good time. Even if you date doesn’t call you, they’ll at least remember you.